


Don't Leave

by TheHomestuckWhovian



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Abandonment, Gen, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 10:11:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15661125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHomestuckWhovian/pseuds/TheHomestuckWhovian
Summary: Keith is used to being left behind.





	Don't Leave

**Author's Note:**

> Lets just talk about that episode where they were floating in space...

_Keith's dad never said his mom died._

_He just said she was gone, and he would stare at the sky._

_Most people would assume that meant she was dead, but Keith never believed that. His dad was about as blunt as he was, and didn't hesitate away from hard words. He would discuss work with Keith, who learned quickly how terrifying and dangerous a firefighter's work was. If his mother was dead, he would have said so._

_His mother had left them._

_One day when he came home from school, there was no dad to greet him. Hours later, a police officer came to take him away, telling him that his father died at a fire. He was sent to the home._

_Keith's parents had both left him before he turned ten._

* * *

Keith liked patterns and routine. It was comforting, kept him sharp and aware, and in the deep void they were floating in it was the only comfort he had.

Then instead of a sound off, Hunk told about a fantasy in his head, and Keith's blood boiled.

* * *

_He had wanted to punch Adam in the face._

_But there was a difference between punching Griffin (the boy who saw what got a rise out of him, saw the exposed soft spots and stabbed at them in a cheap attempt to feel superior, to feel better than him) and the man Shiro loved enough to want to marry, and he didn't think Shiro would want to believe in him anymore after that. And Keith needed Shiro's belief more than he needed to show Adam how stupid he was being to let go of a great man just because he wanted something different from him. Shiro believing in him meant more to Keith than anything, because out of all the voices that told him he was bad, broken, worthless, there was one that looked at him and saw something good, saw someone who was worth the effort to help._

_(It hurt that Shiro would eventually leave him, that he would die and this time it wouldn't be a surprise, it would be long and excruciating and there was no way to stop it. But Keith couldn't be mad at Shiro for an illness he had no control over and instead he directed his anger to someone who deserved it a little more.)_

_Shiro still justified Adam's decision, even when it clearly hurt. "Our lives are taking us in different directions." And Keith didn't really believe that until it was Adam himself who approached Keith to tell him that Shiro was dead._

_In that moment, he realized he and Adam weren't so different after all._

_It was easier to push people away than to sit there and wait for them to leave you again and again._

* * *

The space around them turned red and the crashing banging overwhelmed the roaring of blood in Keith's ears. Lightning flashed and grabbed them, pulling at them, pulling them apart.

His friends screamed and the same senses that had told him where the Druid was before  _screamed_ at him that there was something there, that something was toying with them and trying to take everyone from him and he snapped.

The red faded, and his friends looked at him like he was losing it.

Maybe he was losing it.

* * *

_Shiro was gone._

_Shiro was gone again and Keith felt close to breaking._

_And god, he knew Shiro had been preparing him for this. Shiro had still been sick and Keith was the only one who knew that Shiro had only a few years of fighting left in him, even if he refused to believe it. They were in a magical space castle and had magical healing pods. There were aliens who could manipulate plants and machines with their minds, and aliens that could manipulate energy like magic. There had to be something out here that could cure Shiro, that could save him._

_But he was gone._

_For months, he searched. All he did was search. He and Red followed every lead, each progressively more impossible. But there was nothing._

_Then the Black Lion chose him._

_In that moment he hated Shiro for leaving, hated the potential Coalition members for forcing them to do this, hated the Black Lion for choosing him instead of Allura, the obvious choice, or Lance, with his annoyingly clever plans and an actual desire to lead. He hated Lotor most of all, for making this change necessary._

_Then Shiro was back._

_And everything should have been fine then. Things should have gone back to normal._

_But they didn't._

* * *

There was no point.

No point in routine. No point in checking. No point in caring what Allura's father used to say. If he had actually fought instead of just hiding, maybe they wouldn't be out here.

Keith wouldn't exist to be left behind by everyone he ever tried to care about.

* * *

___The Blade held answers, answers that he needed. He needed to know the truth._

_So he left._

_(Leave before they leave you. That's what Adam taught him.)_

_They didn't need him anymore. Shiro was a better leader, a better Paladin, and if he stayed then someone else would have to go and he knew who would volunteer, and it would be just like that self-sacrificing asshole to give up something he actually cared about for what he thought was right. And the group needed Lance more than they needed Keith, as much as that fucker thought otherwise, so it was time to be the bigger man and bow out before that idiot did something he'd regret._

_It was better for him to leave. It would cause less heartbreak in the end._

* * *

Allura and Lance's voices were cold, sharp like blades. Their words cut through him and he just wanted to leave, get away from them, but Hunk latched onto his foot and wouldn't let him go.

What was the point in staying? They hated him, and the one who didn't hate him was going to leave anyway. They would all leave him behind and he was sick and tired of it. And even if they didn't leave they were all going to die here and that was just as bad, and Keith would rather die alone than watch.

* * *

_Two years._

_Two years that he spent with his mom._

_Two years spent learning that everything he had believed for as long as he could remember was wrong. That his mom had wanted him, had wanted to stay, that she hadn't left because she wanted to but because she wanted to keep him and his dad safe._

_A lot could change in two years._

_This time it was him believing in Shiro. Even when the Shiro he was desperate to save wasn't really him (except he was and knowing the truth didn't make Keith less sure to save him, because Shiro never gave up on him when he was just a worthless troublemaker and he wouldn't give up on this clone, on saving this Shiro), even when Shiro was back but so close to dying yet again, he refused to give up. It was his turn to believe in Shiro. It was his turn to keep him going, to be there for him._

_A lot could change in two years._

_And yet, when his mother chose to leave again, Keith realized that he still was that sad, angry little boy who took every departure like a punch to the gut. Even now, when things were supposed to be different. Even now, when he was supposed to have moved on from that and learned._

_Because two years was a long time, but it was also no time at all._

* * *

When Hunk shot the earth, exposing the eye monster before them, it was like clarity hit his mind again, and shame grew dark and heavy in his stomach. How could...what kind of bastard said things like that?

That shame grew worse as Hunk (coward, coward, he was just going to leave the first chance he got, just like the others, push him away before it can hurt) chose to stay behind with his bayard, fight the monster while the rest of them got to safety. And Keith hated himself because he was wrong. Hunk was probably one of the bravest out of them because he wanted to leave and  _didn't_.

He didn't hesitate to grab him with the others and rocket away.

He wouldn't abandon Hunk.

* * *

_Keith wasn't much of a hugger. His dad had never been much of one either, and Shiro usually saved gestures like that for moments when he felt they were needed, when Keith was upset or the two would be separated for a while. But that didn't mean he didn't like them. Hugs were reminders that people intended to come back, that they wouldn't just leave them._

_He was used to people not coming back. He was used to watching those he cared about leave him, or leaving before they could. He never became much of a hugger because it was easy to trust that people would eventually go away, that he was so unloveable or unwanted that no one would stay, no one but Shiro with his stubborn refusal to give up on anything, on his life, on his deams, and on this asshole kid who stole his car the first time they met._

_(And maybe that was why Adam couldn't take it anymore. Maybe it was because he felt he was the one thing Shiro was willing to let go of. Maybe they weren't as similar as Keith thought. Maybe the lesson he had learned so long ago was not one that Adam ever meant to teach him.)_

_He hesitated before returning Hunk's gesture, and he decided that there was a reason Hunk was so good at hugs, that he gave them so freely._

_Hunk was the kind of person who would always come back, no matter how scared or worried he was._

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday to me.
> 
> My tumblr is [boopboopitydoop](https://boopboopitydoop.tumblr.com). Shoot me a message if you want to scream about the good Hunk content we got this season.


End file.
